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Holding Out
For You
by
ObsessingOverEdward
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4666438/1/Holding_Out_For_You
After her divorce, Bella starts a new life with her son. She soon meets a handsome doctor, who is
dealing with his own loss and is struggling to raise his two kids. It's a story of finding strength
during adversity and learning to love again
Chapter 1
Leaving La Push
Bella Swan-Black
"Seth, get in here and finish packing your Legos," I hollered, as my son sneakily ducked back into
my room.
"Where have you been?" He had that look on his face that told me he had been up to something.
"Don't be mad mom, please." I sighed, knowing that whenever his sentence started with 'Don't be
mad', it wasn't going to be good. I folded my arms in front of me and waited patiently for him to
get the courage to tell me whatever mischief he'd been up to now.
"I kind of broke your dolphins." I groaned inwardly. The dolphins were a graduation present from
my father when I graduated from Cal State University Monterey Bay. They were twelve inch high
blown glass of dolphins jumping over the waves. I closed my eyes, not knowing if I wanted the
answer to my next question.
"How did you break them?" I whispered as I opened my eyes and looked at my repentant seven
year old. He lowered his gaze to his shoes while he shoved his hands into the pocket of his jeans.
"Well…Conner got away and so I saw him jumping towards the back door." He took a big breath
before he continued to weave his tale. "So, I wanted to catch him before he got away. Then Buddy
saw him and started chasing me and Conner. If I didn't dive for him, Buddy would've eaten him
up." I rolled my eyes. Buddy was a smart Golden Retriever except when it came to frogs. He'd
gobble them in one bite and then within ten minutes they would come right back up.
I waved my hand for him to continue. "I hit the table leg and it fell off. I'm sorry, mom. I know you
liked them dolphins." His eyes began to tear up and any anger I had felt melted instantly. This poor
child has been through the wringer over the last two years.
"It's okay, Seth. Go finish packing your Legos and take the box out to Grandpa Charlie to put in the
truck." He walked over and hugged me around the waist.
"I'm really sorry, momma." He sobbed into my shirt. I ran my fingers through his spiky jet black hair
and held him close.
"It's okay honey." I pulled him away from me and gave him a 'you're forgiven' smile. "Now hurry
up. We have to leave in a few minutes." He pulled away from me and ran to his room. I sighed,
knowing there was a mess waiting for me in the dining room.
"Hey Bells, do you want the dining set or not?" I looked at my ex-husband and was struck with a
sense of nostalgia.
"No, you can keep it. I picked up a smaller one last week." He nodded at me, but had a look like he
wanted to have that discussion again. I held up my hands, stopping him before he started.
"Don't go there right now. Seth is in the other room. We can talk about it on the drive down." He
nodded his head curtly then turned quickly and left me standing in what was once our bedroom.
The only thing that remained of mine was the king sized bed that we bought when we were first
married. I didn't want the reminder of what we did on that mattress or worse yet what he is
currently doing with her on it.
Jake and I separated after five years of marriage because of his controlling and manipulative
personality. That was almost two years ago. I thought that with Seth and I living with my father, he
would finally see that I meant business when I told him I couldn't live with his "rules".
I still remember the day that I lost all hope of reconciliation. I had stopped by the house
unannounced to talk to him about the latest round of mischief Seth had gotten into. I used my key
and let myself in when he didn't answer the door. I immediately heard why he was preoccupied
when a dull thumping came from the bedroom. I stood shocked in the kitchen. He wouldn't.
My feet had a mind of their own as they quickly led me to the bedroom door. I placed my hand on
the knob and opened the door slowly. My suspicions were confirmed when I saw the naked back
of my husband pounding passionately into a dark haired beauty. I sucked in my breath and stood
there unmoving.
Jake's head spun around until he met my gaze, halting the motion he was currently engaged in. I
turned and fled back out the door, stumbling to my car to escape the disgust of what I had
witnessed. I slammed my key in the ignition of my truck and peeled out of the driveway. I looked in
my rear view mirror to see Jake fly out of the house, the sheet from our bed wrapped around his
lower half.
I sighed deeply at the memory. A few months ago the thought of Jake's betrayal would have been a
painful reminder of love lost. Now it just evoked sadness that my son didn't have both parents
living in the same home.
Seth had suffered the most during all of our drama. He had always been a curious child and that
usually landed him in trouble, but after the separation, his antics grew more into attention getting
schemes. I hated taking him away from his father. Even though Jake wasn't the best husband, he
loved and adored Seth. But what choice did I have?
I can't change anything now. Our lives were set on a path that would lead us to California. An old
professor had recommended me for a job at the Monterey Bay Aquarium. It would be great to
finally put my Master's in Marine Biology to good use.
I took one more look around the small bedroom and then went in to clean up the mess my dear
child made. As I looked at the shattered dolphins, I couldn't help but reflect on the life that I had
lived up until this point. Everything had seemed shattered, just like the dolphins and here I was,
picking up the pieces and moving on.
Jake and I started dating when we were Juniors in High School. He took a job as a mechanic right
out of school so he could stay home and take care of his father while I made my way to the
University of Washington in Seattle. I would come home every weekend to spend time with my
father and continue my romance with Jake.
It was a sad day when Jake's father passed away, three weeks before my graduation. The decision
for us to move to Monterey so I could finish my degree was something that we both wanted. Jake
needed to get away from the constant badgering by the tribal counsel to take his father's place as
chief. He said he didn't want the responsibility at the time.
Life in Monterey was amazing. We spent our days working or studying and then the evenings
would be spent walking on the beach or occasionally eating out at some of the finest restaurants
on the Peninsula. I was so in love with Jake during our time there, when we found out I was
pregnant we were both excited to start the next phase in our lives.
I was six months pregnant with Seth when I crossed the stage to receive my diploma. I was so
happy then. Jake and I packed up that week and drove back to La Push to start our new lives
together. We rushed a very simple wedding a month before Seth arrived and then settled into our
lives as a new happy family.
Jake soon went back to the garage that he managed before we left for Monterey. I didn't have to
work because his income was enough for us to get by and we both wanted Seth to have a parent at
home. Jake eventually took over as Chief after the constant persistence from the counsel. That
seemed to be when he started to change.
Jake took his responsibility to watch out for the tribe and his family to the extremes. He started to
control every aspect of our lives. He took over paying the bills and gave me a monthly allowance,
which I was never allowed to deviate from. It finally got to a point where I had no idea where we
were financially. Then, he would do little things like check the mileage on my car before and after
work and ask me where I went. Once, he even asked the neighbors to keep an eye on me and let
him know if I had anyone over. It was like he didn't trust me. It took me a while before I realized
these kinds of things were happening in every aspect of our relationship. He was slowly trying to
make me completely dependent on him.
I refused to be bullied and manipulated into servitude by his insecurities. So, I left. My dad was
furious at Jake and always made sure that he was present whenever Jake would come over.
At first, our separation was a God-send. He was attentive and sweet, like when we first started
dating. He would pick me up for dinner and then charm me with his fun loving nature. Many times
during that separation, I would fall back into his bed with the hope that things would change, only
to be rudely awakened when he reverted to his demanding and selfish ways.
Then she came into the picture. I never told anyone why I filed for divorce the day after finding
them together. Living in a small town, I didn't want Seth to hear the sordid details of our
relationship. Jake was grateful that I didn't fuel the gossip mongers, and I was thankful that he kept
her away from Seth. It had only been a month since the divorce became final, so we both decided
that he would keep his private life private for a while longer.
After the initial shock of the events that brought us to divorce, Jake and I agreed to be friendly for
the sake of our son. I found that we were much better off as friends than we had ever been in the
late stages as husband and wife. Our only argument as of late was about me moving over a
thousand miles away.
I needed a clean break. Everything just fell into place when I got a phone call from an old professor
I had kept in touch with. We had taken scuba lessons together while I was in college and hit it off
as friends. She called me and let me know that the Monterey Bay Aquarium was in need of a
Marine Biologist to add to their new White Shark Project. It was really an opportunity of a lifetime
to be involved in the research of such a fascinating creature. I also desperately needed work. My
father and Jake took care of us financially, but now that the divorce was final, I needed a job.
Jake and my father were driving us down to Carmel where I had rented a small cottage on the
outskirts of town. It was unbelievably affordable for being a Carmel rental. There was a large
backyard and a very nice elderly couple that lived in a larger house on the property so we wouldn't
feel so isolated.
"Ready Bella?" Charlie asked as he came through the front door. I looked around at what used to
be my home and nodded my head.
"As ready as I'll ever be."
"I'll take Seth and Buddy in your car while you ride with Jake. He said he had some things he
wanted to discuss with you." He gave me a look asking me if that arrangement was going to be
okay with me. I shrugged my shoulders.
"I'll ride with him for a few hours and then we'll switch so he can spend time with Seth before you
guys have to fly back." I ran back through the house, double checking that I had packed everything
I wanted to take. When I was satisfied that all was in order, I climbed in the cab of the U-haul with
Jake. We were silent for an hour before he spoke.
"Bells, it's not too late to change your mind."
I sighed, knowing that there was no way around having this discussion yet again. Hopefully it
would be the last.
"No Jake, I need to take care of myself and Seth. This is the only way." I looked out the window at
the racing scenery.
"That's bullshit Bella, and you know it." I winced at the hint of anger laced in his voice. "You could
have gotten a job closer. You're taking my son away from me." I seethed at his remarks and then
decided to let him have it.
"I'm not the one that caused all of this! I'm doing what I have to do to survive. You stepped out of
Seth's life the moment you brought her into your bed!"
"Her name is Leah," he stated, like it mattered to me what her name is. I rolled my eyes at him and
turned to stare back out the window.
"You know I could take you back to court to keep you here," he threatened.
"You wouldn't dare. I would shred you in court. I have enough proof of your infidelity and people
would back me up that you were unbearable to live with and abusive." He winced at my words.
"I think I'm being fair with the visitation arrangement that we agreed to. I could have made things
a lot worse for you, but if you want to play Russian roulette with the courts, then be my guest. It'll
cost you in the end." Jake nodded his head, knowing that my words were not idle threats.
"I'm sorry, Bells. I don't want to fight with you anymore. I want you to be happy. I'm just going to
miss Seth." I was always too forgiving, but I couldn't help but be affected by the sincerity in his
words.
"Me too, Jake. I'm sorry that we're moving away." I looked at his face as the sun was setting against
the mountains. He was such a handsome man and I would miss those nights of passion that we
once shared. Even though we didn't get along now, there was no denying the way he made my
body sing.
"I think you should pull over so Seth can spend some time with his daddy."
He nodded and then took the exit to a rest stop. I switched places with my son and drove the rest
of the way in comfortable silence with Charlie.
We drove straight through the night and arrived at our new home around noon. The cottage was
just as I remembered it. When I had accepted the job offer from the Aquarium, I immediately went
in search of a house. I spent several days going through house after house. Unfortunately, most of
them were out of my price range. I lucked out when my old Professor told me about a friend of
hers that had a place opening up. The home had been built in 1918, but had been recently
remodeled. It was only about a thousand square feet but it was big enough for me and Seth.
Buddy was excited to be out of the cramped confines of the car and was running all over the yard
in an ADHD doggy moment. Jake snarled at him whenever he ran close to him. For some reason,
Jake hated Buddy, and I think the feeling was mutual. Seth and I got him as a puppy right after we
moved in with my father. Seth loved him and Buddy eased some of the guilt I felt at taking Seth
away from his father.
We spent the afternoon unloading boxes while Jake put together the bed frames so we would have
somewhere to sleep that night.
I was putting away dishes when I heard a loud scream from the yard.
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